Family Caregivers
As a caregiver of a loved one with dementia, there are many challenges for families to understand. People with conditions of dementia such as Alzheimer’s and related diseases, have a progressive biological brain disorder that makes it more and more difficult for them to
- remember things,
- think clearly,
- communicate with others,
- take care of themselves.
- have mood swings and even change personality and behavior.
Tips for Communicating with a Person with Dementia
Since we don’t all come with a handbook on Dementia, improving communication skills will help make caregiving less stressful and will improve the quality of your relationship with your loved one and enhance your ability to handle the difficult behavior you may encounter as you care for a person with a dementing illness.
- Set a positive mood by speaking to your loved one in a pleasant and respectful manner. Your attitude and body language communicate your feelings and thoughts more strongly than your words do. Use facial expressions, tone of voice, and physical touch to help convey your message and show your feelings of affection.
- Listen with your ears, eyes, and heart. Be patient in waiting for your loved one’s reply. If they struggle for an answer, it’s okay to suggest words. Always strive to listen for the meaning and feelings that underlie the words.
- Ask one question at a time; those with yes or no answers work best. Refrain from asking open-ended questions or giving too many choices. For example, “Would you like to wear your white shirt or your blue shirt?” Visual prompts and cues also help clarify your question and can guide their response.
- Speak slowly and in a reassuring tone. Use simple words and sentences. Refrain from raising your voice higher or louder; instead, pitch your voice lower. Use the names of people and places instead of pronouns (he, she, they) or abbreviations.
- Respond with affection and reassurance. People with dementia often feel confused, anxious, and unsure of themselves. They often get reality confused and may recall things that never really occurred. Avoid trying to convince them they are wrong. Stay focused on the feelings they are demonstrating (which are real) and respond with verbal and physical expressions of comfort, support, and reassurance.
6. Break down activities into a series of steps. This makes many tasks much more manageable. You can encourage your loved one to do what they can, gently remind them of steps they tend to forget, and assist with steps they are no longer able to accomplish on their own.
7. When the going gets tough, distract and redirect. If your loved one becomes upset or agitated, try changing the subject or the environment. For example, ask them for help or suggest going for a walk. It is important to connect with the person on a feeling level, before you redirect. You might say, “I see you’re feeling sad—I’m sorry you’re upset. Let’s go get something to eat.”
8. Remember the good old days. Remembering the past is often a soothing and affirming activity. Many people with dementia may not remember what happened 45 minutes ago, but they can clearly recall their lives 45 years earlier. Therefore, try asking general questions about the person’s distant past as this information is more likely to be retained.
9. Maintain your sense of humor. Use humor whenever possible, though not at the person’s expense. People with dementia tend to retain their social skills and are usually delighted to laugh along with you.
Managing Challenging Behavior
Some of the greatest challenges of caring for a loved one with dementia are the personality and behavior changes that often occur. You can best meet these behaviors by using creativity, flexibility, patience, and compassion. It also helps to not take things personally and maintain your sense of humor.
We Cannot Change the Person
The person you are caring for has a brain disorder that shapes who he has become. When you try to control or change his behavior, you’ll most likely be unsuccessful or be met with resistance. It’s important to:
- Try to accommodate the behavior, not control the behavior. For example, if the person insists on sleeping on the floor, place a mattress on the floor to make him more comfortable.
- Remember that we can change our behavior or the physical environment. Changing our own behavior will often result in a change in our loved one’s behavior.
Check With the Doctor First
Behavioral problems may have an underlying medical reason: perhaps the person is in pain or experiencing an adverse side effect from medications. In some cases, like incontinence or hallucinations, there may be some medication or treatment that can assist in managing the problem.
Behavior has a Purpose
People with dementia typically cannot tell us what they want or need. They might do something, like take all the clothes out of the closet on a daily basis, and we wonder why. It is very likely that the person is fulfilling a need to be busy and productive. Always consider what needs the person might be trying to meet with their behavior and, when possible, try to accommodate them.
Behavior is Triggered
It is important to understand that all behavior is triggered and occurs for a reason. It might be something a person did or said that triggered a behavior, or it could be a change in the physical environment. The root to changing behavior is disrupting the patterns that we create. Try a different approach, or try a different consequence.
What works Today, may not Tomorrow
The multiple factors that influence troubling behaviors, and the natural progression of the disease process, mean that solutions that are effective today may need to be modified tomorrow, or may no longer work at all. The key to managing difficult behaviors is being creative and flexible in your strategies to address a given issue.
Get Support from Others
You are not alone – there are many others caring for someone with dementia. Locate your local agency on Aging such as Ontario Health atHome, the local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association, or find support groups, organizations, and services that can help you.
Expect that, like the loved one you are caring for, you will have good days and bad days. Develop strategies for coping with the bad days.
Promyse Home Care Comprehensive In-Home Care for Dementia Clients offer a personalized approach to support, allowing individuals to stay safely in the comfort of their own homes while receiving the necessary assistance,
If you found this article helpful, please look for a continued discussion In the next blog article, where we will review the most common dementia-associate behaviours with suggestions on the best way to handle them.
