Helping Young Minds Understand with Compassion
Learning that a grandparent, parent, or another loved one has dementia can be confusing and upsetting for adults and even more so for children. Many families struggle with how to explain dementia in a way that is honest without being frightening,,,,. but talking to children about dementia is important. They often notice changes long before adults realize they do. They may see Grandma repeating the same question, Grandpa forgetting their name, or a loved one acting differently than they remember.
The good news is that children are remarkably resilient when given truthful, age-appropriate information and emotional support. Rather than avoiding the conversation, talking openly about dementia helps children understand what is happening, reduces anxiety, and encourages compassion for the person living with the disease.
Every child processes information differently, but one thing remains the same: they need reassurance that their feelings are normal and that they are not alone. By keeping conversations simple, answering questions honestly, and involving children in their loved one’s care, families can create meaningful memories as dementia progresses.
How to Talk to Preschool Children About Dementia
Young children, typically between the ages of three and five, think very literally. They do not need detailed medical explanations. Instead, they benefit from simple, concrete language that explains what they may notice.
You might say: “Grandpa has an illness that makes it hard for his brain to remember things. Sometimes he gets confused or forgets words, but he still loves you very much.”
Preschool children often ask the same questions repeatedly as they process new information. Be patient and answer consistently using simple language.
It also helps to explain that dementia is not contagious and that nothing the child did caused their loved one’s illness. Young children can sometimes believe they are responsible for things happening around them, so offering reassurance is important.
Using storybooks about memory loss, drawing pictures, or playing together after conversations can help children express their feelings without needing to find the right words. Here are a few books that address dementia in a child-friendly way.
- Grandpa’s Magical Mind: A Child’s Perspective on Dementia by Bre’anna Wilson
- Forget Me Not by Nancy Van Laan (Author), Stephanie Graegin (Illustrator)
- Harry Helps Grandpa Remember by Karen Tyrrell (Author), Aaron Pocock (Illustrator)
How to Talk to School-Aged Children & Teenagers
Older children and teenagers can better understand how dementia affects the brain. They may search online for information or hear about Alzheimer’s disease from friends or teachers. Being open and factual helps prevent misunderstandings and unnecessary fears.
Explain that dementia is a disease of the brain that affects memory, thinking, communication, and behaviour. Every person experiences dementia differently, and symptoms gradually change over time.
Teenagers may have more complex emotions than younger children. They might feel sadness, frustration, embarrassment, guilt, or anger about the changes they see. Some may withdraw from family activities because they feel uncomfortable or unsure how to interact with their loved ones.
Encourage questions and allow teenagers to express difficult emotions without judgment. Let them know it is okay to feel upset while also reminding them that their presence continues to make a difference.
Many teenagers appreciate having opportunities to help in small, meaningful ways, such as accompanying a grandparent on a walk, looking through family photographs together, or simply spending quiet time together.
Focus on Their Feelings, Not Their Fear
When talking with children about dementia, the goal isn’t to eliminate every worry – it is to help them feel safe expressing their emotions.
Children may experience:
- Sadness over the changes they see.
- Confusion about unusual behaviours.
- Fear about what might happen next.
- Frustration when conversations become difficult.
- Worry about other family members.
- Guilt if they don’t enjoy visits as much as they once did.
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Rather than trying to “fix” these emotions, acknowledge them.
You might say: “I know it’s confusing when Grandma asks the same question many times.” or “It’s okay to feel sad. I feel sad sometimes, too.”
Validating feelings teaches children that emotions are normal and manageable. It also builds trust, making children more likely to keep asking questions as dementia progresses.
Parents should also avoid making promises they cannot keep, such as saying someone will “get better soon.” Instead, focus on what remains constant: the family’s love, support, and time together.
Forgetting Doesn’t Change Their Love
One of the greatest fears children have is wondering whether their loved one still loves them.
A grandparent may forget a birthday, call a child by the wrong name, or even fail to recognize them during later stages of dementia. These moments can be heartbreaking without preparation.
Help children understand that dementia affects the brain’s ability to remember—it does not erase the love that person has always felt.
A helpful explanation might be: “Grandma’s brain is having trouble remembering names, but her heart still knows you. She still enjoys hearing your voice and spending time with you.”
Children often understand this comparison:
“If someone’s eyes don’t work well, they wear glasses. When someone’s brain doesn’t work the same way anymore, they may forget things – but they are still the same person inside.”
Focusing on emotional connection rather than memory helps children maintain loving relationships despite the disease.
The Importance of Preparing for Changes
Dementia is progressive, meaning symptoms gradually change over time.
Preparing children for these changes before they occur helps reduce fear and uncertainty.
As dementia progresses, children may notice:
- Increased forgetfulness
- Repeated questions
- Difficulty finding words
- Mood changes
- Confusion about time or place
- Needing more physical help
- Changes in personality
- Reduced ability to communicate
Children do not need to learn everything at once. Instead, provide information gradually as new changes appear. Regular family conversations also give children opportunities to ask new questions as they grow older and understand more.
It can be reassuring to remind children that although dementia changes many things, families continue to love and care for one another throughout the journey.
How to Keep Children Engaged with Their Loved Ones
One of the most meaningful gifts families can give children and loved ones living with dementia is a continued connection. Even when memory declines, shared experiences can still provide comfort, joy, and emotional connection. Activities should focus on enjoyment rather than remembering.
Some wonderful ways children can stay connected include:
- Looking through family photo albums together
- Reading favourite books aloud
- Singing familiar songs
- Colouring or doing simple crafts
- Going for short walks
- Gardening together
- Baking easy recipes
- Watching favourite family movies
- Listening to familiar music
- Sharing stories about family traditions
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Young children can also draw pictures, make handmade cards, or simply sit beside their loved one while talking or playing.
Teenagers may enjoy interviewing grandparents about their childhood, recording family stories, creating memory books, or helping organize digital family photos.
The goal isn’t perfect conversation – it’s meaningful presence. Even if a loved one forgets the visit later, the positive feelings created during the interaction often remain.
Community Support – You’re Not Alone
No family should have to navigate dementia alone. Across Canada, several trusted organizations provide education, support groups, caregiver resources, and practical guidance for families, including information designed to help children understand dementia.
The Alzheimer Society of Ontario offers reliable information about dementia, caregiving resources, educational materials, and connections to provincial Alzheimer Societies that provide local support programs.
The Canadian Dementia Learning and Resource Network (CDLRN) brings together evidence-based information, educational tools, and resources to help families better understand dementia and access community support across Canada.
Many local communities also offer caregiver support groups, family education sessions, dementia-friendly community programs, and counselling services that can help families navigate the emotional challenges of living with dementia.
Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it is one of the most important steps families can take to ensure everyone, including children, receives the support they need. By reaching out early and staying connected, families can face dementia with greater confidence, compassion, and support.
Compassionate In-Home Dementia Care from Promyse Home Care
As dementia progresses, families often need additional support to help their loved one continue living safely and comfortably at home.
Promyse Home Care provides comprehensive private in-home care for individuals living with dementia throughout the Kitchener, Waterloo, and Cambridge communities. Our compassionate caregivers understand the unique challenges that dementia presents and work closely with families to provide personalized care that respects each person’s dignity, routines, and independence.Â
If your family needs support, we are here to help you navigate care with compassion and confidence.
Personalized Dementia Support
Private home care offers a personalized, client-focused approach to dementia support, allowing individuals to remain safely in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes while receiving the assistance they need. Families often appreciate the one-on-one attention, consistency of care, and peace of mind that come from knowing their loved one is supported by experienced, compassionate professionals.
Whether your family needs companionship, personal care, respite for family caregivers, or more comprehensive dementia support, Promyse Home Care is committed to helping individuals live with dignity while supporting the people who love them.Â
Together, we can help families focus on what matters most – sharing meaningful moments, preserving connections, and creating comfort throughout every stage of the dementia journey.
