Considerations for Moving Your Parents In with You

As our parents age well past their retirement, the time may come when living in their home presents some health and safety concerns. You begin to consider moving your parents in with you, to your home, to ensure a continuing quality of life. Taking on the responsibility of caring for your aging parents is a significant decision that involves careful thought and planning. 

Essential Questions to Answer:

For You:

• Is there sufficient room to accommodate them comfortably?
• How do your aging parents feel about the move?
• How do others in the home think about it?
• Can we comfortably handle the additional expenses, or will part of my parent’s income contribute to living costs?
• Are there any unresolved issues or conflicts between my parents and me?
• Are there any habits or lifestyle choices of my parents that need addressing, such as smoking, drinking, or pets?
• What are my expectations from my family members (spouse, siblings, children) regarding my parent’s care?
• How do I genuinely feel about taking on this caregiving role?

Being a caregiver means knowing what the older adult(s) can do for themselves or what they need help with. Personal care may include moving the person from a chair to a bed, giving medications, or bathing. If specialized medical care is involved, will they need to switch doctors or health care providers? You should look into whether other family members, friends, or neighbours nearby can help care for your loved ones. 

Consider the services available in your community, or, if necessary, can you afford to hire professional services to assist with caregiving?

Answering these questions authentically without feeling pressured to respond a certain way is essential. It’s important to remember that this is a process that requires patience. Take your time to make a decision that best suits your family’s needs.

For Your Parent(s):

• Will this move separate me from people or activities that I hold dear?
• Should I contribute a portion of my income to living expenses?
• If adjustments are necessary at home, can I assist in covering the costs?
• Are there any unresolved issues or conflicts between my child and me?
• What are my expectations of my family members (the children I live with, their siblings, extended family) regarding my care and spending time together?
• Do I feel comfortable discussing my concerns about my child’s actions or decisions?
• How do I sincerely feel about accepting this new living arrangement?

Initiate an open and honest conversation about expectations, fears, and finances. This will not only provide clarity but also reassure both parties that their concerns are being addressed. Encourage your parents to express their feelings and concerns, respecting their need for independence. It’s advisable to have this discussion over several visits to ensure that both parties feel heard and understood.

Remember, if, after careful consideration, living together isn’t the best option, that’s perfectly fine. The decision-making process is flexible, and the ultimate goal is to improve both of your lives in the long term. You are in control of this process.

Additional Help Is Available

The Ontario Government, through Ontario Health atHome, runs the Family Managed Home Care program. Through the Family Managed Home Care program, eligible clients receive funding to purchase home care services or employ care providers. 

Promyse Home Care understands the value and importance for families to live at home while receiving exceptional in-home care from professional providers, and has partnered with the program to provide compassionate care for families in Kitchener, Waterloo and Cambridge. 

Our Nurse Case Manager would be happy to assist you through the Family-Managed Care application process. Nurse Case Managers bridge these gaps by serving as the central point of contact, ensuring that all facets of a senior’s healthcare are seamlessly integrated and your loved ones receive the compassionate and professional home care they need, respecting their dignity, independence and choices.